Category Archives: Writings

Conversations with my mother

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Dear family, here are some brief notes on one persons decision to go to a rainbow gathering bordering a war zone at a potentially crucial point in history. I don’t no if they’ll be of any help to any one else.
Conversations with my mother
Mum:
Ah… I see. What do you think about the idea that encouraging people to go is pretty much inviting IS to attack?
FRI 18:29
Me:
I would not encourage anyone to come to the gathering. I think rainbow gatherings have a very unique power a power that this part of the world is sorely in need of at this time but I would not ask anyone to go who did not feel some kind of intense, divine, you might call it, calling. We need to demonstrate, no to BELIEVE, that love can conquer fear. ISIS are our brothers though they would doubtless dislike the idea, they are the dark side of the rainbow. Yes I do believe we are on their radar as they are on ours. They personify a darkness, evil is perhaps a melodramatic word, force that runs through this world, that is hidden in the hearts of many, our loved ones, our neighbors, ourselves- just look at how callously we have allowed our planet to be destroyed, the animals who roam it to be imprisoned and slaughtered, our fellow humans to remain cold and hungry on the street when we pass them every day our pockets full of coins, not one of us is untouched by darkness, it would be impossible for it not to manifest, it has always done so, and with it comes it’s other half. Light shines the brightest in the dark. ISIS seems to be playing their role in this messed up fairy tale of humanity just as much as we are, and as all good villains do, sees themselves as divinely in the right. I do not mean to belittle what is happening in this thread of history by viewing it as a story, and yet absurdity is sometimes the easiest way to comprehend the incomprehensible. Don’t we all understand the world through the metaphors we work with most? An actor views life as a stage, with its exists and entrances… thank you Will, a biologist as a microscope, the universe contained inside a tiny amoeba, the astronomer as a telescope, the secret of the universe hidden in the stars, the farmer in the way a plant grows and dies and is reborn, a monk perhaps in silence, a magician as an illusion, a king as a kingdom, a mathematician as a table of numbers, a soldier as a war, a writer as a fairytale… I’m simplifying, this all has been said before. Time and again through history, “good and evil” have misunderstood each other, have tried to fight each other, that is where all the stories come from, all the histories… on some plane, in the eyes of some god or many, this too is already history. I don’t know what will come out of this gathering. I just know we’re at the point in the story (the big one) where something needs to change. In the words of Cullaina the Thunorg, Terry Pratchett, “Nothing has to happen. History isn’t something you live . It is something you make. One decision. One person. At the right time. Nothing is too small to make a difference. Anything can be changed.” One person at the right place, just one, and what about a hundred, two thousand.. what you look at you change. There has been a lot of talk of prophecies both from ISIS and from the spiritual leaders of Rainbow, there has also been growing confirmation since this journey began from members of all the religions and belief systems we’ve come in contact with, from Ayahuaska shamans, to Buddhist monks, to Greek- Orthodox priests, to Roman- Catholic Serbian farmers, to the wizards of Avalon, Hindu street dancers, past- life priestesses of Atlantis, office workers from Pleidien star systems, Muslim fruit sellers, and so many more I cannot list of a mounting change in the world, a coming together and a tipping point, something people struggle to put into words, something in the intensity of the eyes. I believe this gathering is if not THE than a monumentally important tipping point. Belief is the most powerful force I know. We’ve come to a point in history (perhaps again) past steel, past guns, past science, and into the realm of belief. people are begging to explore other worlds, not only that but to talk about it openly, In the past we would have been thrown into madhouses, now we are thrown into Twitter. non of us quite no what this movement, it is insane enough to be called a movement, is about, but from what I’ve seen it’s something like the bringing together of science, of religion, of magic, of the huge spectrum of humanity that we like to call rainbow, and something to do with stories. Sorry, that’s probably a longer answer than you were looking for.
Mum:
Quite an essay! Remember, dear one, I’ll always ask you to explain yourself and always love you even when I disagree. I think there are many times when people think they are part of momentous change and it can be quite disillusioning when things go on more or less the same. Perhaps it’s wisest to cultivate change inside…. I think one of the things that worries me, though, about the rainbow gathering this time is the notion that some people have that they are protected simply by believing strongly enough in Good and Love. I find this quite insulting to the millions who have died in various genocides and terrorist acts because it implies that they were somehow at fault. I hear the view from some rainbow folks, particularly the focalizers, that safety is merely a matter of not giving in to fear, and I wonder what you think of this view?
Me:
If I am prone to the monuments and dramatic it is probably a product of reading too many good books. If I checked my astrology charts they would likely tell me that my moon is in line with some planet inspiring anarchy and action and connection with the other-worldly. Really I understand so little of the world, and myself least of all. Don’t be too alarmed, perhaps nothing at all will happen and my planetary movements will go back to the hundred acre woods by Christmas. Who can really say what is true when we speak from a single microscopic perspective, when the human spirit is so easily influenced by all it comes in contact with. I think you are very wise to speak of change from within. I do not wish to bring heaven to earth in a giant apocalypse or anything like that, heaven is already on earth for those who know how to see it. I have a great deal of change still to do, a long life full of it I hope, so often our environments echo the change going on within, and vise versa. A human is capable of being so much, that’s the starry light of traveling for me, the constant change without mirrors the growth within, when I’m stagnant, surrounded by the same beautiful places, people, ideas, i don’t yet know how to grow within, perhaps that will change with age. Winnie The Pooh can learn all the essential lessons of the universe just watching sticks float down a river and being visited be his friends, but Taren Wanderer had to leave the pig farm and explore the world to allow the universe the best chance of introducing him to the people and places he needed to meet in order to grow into his best self. As to your question, bad things do happen to good people but i think fear has been a governing force in this world for far too long. I respect and channel the Winnie The Poohs of this world but I also respect and channel the souls who need greater meaning and significance, when that aligns with a sense of justice, of humanitarian indigence, it is perhaps a dangerous thing, but it has had the effect of tethering me to this world, which I know you will appreciate. If you can be faced with fear and still show love for your enemy, learn to love all the sides of yourself so you can love all the sides of everyone ells, I think that is very important. I’ve talked about huge things happening, portals opening, perhaps, probably, that’s all a battle within myself. It would be naively egotistical of me to think that my going to this gathering will effect anyone ells more than it will myself. And yet it does seem that all my life has been building to this point, the most epic adventures of all are always on the inside.
Mum:
I think you are right that the epic adventure is on the inside… but I disagree that fear is a major governing force, any more than many of the other things that motivate human behavior like love or kindness, though perhaps that’s your personal experience at the moment. I think the folks out enjoying themselves in Paris last week weren’t fearful; yet they were still victimized by people who took advantage of a society that is not based on fear. I guess I don’t see how going to Egypt helps much. It seems like just providing another outlet for terrorists. Isn’t there a more effective approach? And haven’t you already proven to yourself that you’re a pretty damn courageous person?
FRI 20:56
Me:
There are many kinds of fear, most if not all used for power. Love and kindness are by their very nature not used for power and so disdained by many leaders, because they go against separateness, against hierarchy, though they are of course at the center of all the best and most sustainable systems. Governments use fear all the time, fear of ones own government, what they’ll do to you if you don’t comply with their ideas, fear of someone else’ government, a more insidious form, fear of what they’ll do to you if you come to close in contact with them. fear of oneself, of being honest to yourself, of not fitting in or meeting other people’s expectations, fear that keeps people inside watching television instead of experiencing life for themselves, fear of words, fear of bodies, fear that inspire people to go to war, to protect what is theirs, to not allow others, other beliefs, into their world, fear of the unknown… You could right several hundred volumes on the different kinds of fear used today. Forgive me if your daughter sounds like the looniest conspiracy theorist but one of the biggest things I’ve learned is the deep importance of questioning. I believe the people of the West are in every bit as much danger, though of a different sort, than those who live knowingly in fear of their corrupt officials. I don’t know nearly enough but I can say America for one has been bought off from questioning many too many times with first world comforts and the most important tool of all, the belief that happiness is a thing to be bought. I know you already have mountains of homework but I’d love it if you’d take a little more on and re-examine just three events in history from the crazy conspiracy theorists perspective, 1, the assassination of John Lennon, 2, “Beyond Misinformation- what science says about the destruction of world trade center buildings 1, 2, and 7, and 3, The Paris Bombing attack. The third and most recent is the most interesting to me as I’ve already formed what i believe are informed opinions about the first two. Conspiracy or not, I hope it will have the undesirable effect of waking the Western world up to the idea of being a part of this story, I hope it will not have the much desired effect of causing more separateness and hatred between cultures bent on misunderstanding each other. I cannot speak for anyone ells. I am going to Egypt because both in quite contemplation, ecstatic revelation, and mad dives into the rabbit hole of fairyland it is what I feel called to do. I’ve been listening to the universe and asking for signs, it may be all silliness but I find it comforting that I am doing the right thing. At the Lithuanian rainbow I had a vision of another world much realer than this dream one we live in, a world where the true nature of energy is used by all in harmony, the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen or dreamed of, a crow awoke me from it and lightning in the sky, at the Slovak gathering I climbed to the top of a mountain, lit a fire and waited in the drizzling sky for the people I was meant to meet. When they arrived we exchanged gifts of mounting importance, a coconut cup full of coffee, a slice of water melon, blue lotus flowers, a colored pencil, a Japanese fan and finally a picture of Saint Francis carried around for me for some time as a single crow flew over head and spoke to us, later I stumbled upon a book of Saint Francis’s life which I read avidly, just recently I found this story:
“Thus, in the midst of the Fifth Crusade of 1219, Francis dramatically crossed the battle lines at Damietta in order to speak with Malik al-Kamil, the Ayubid Sultan of Egypt.

Intrigued by the courage and simplicity of this bold but unassuming man, the Sultan recognized in Francis a Christian unlike any other. In their meeting, did they exchange their respective visions of the world and God’s role in it? Historians report that Malik al-Kamil was moved by his words and listened to Francis very willingly. With admiration for his visitor, the Sultan spared Francis and sent him back to Italy.

Two greatly different men had met in the spirit of respect and concern—one with remarkable temporal authority, the other with unsurpassed spiritual energy. Perhaps each of them recognized the Spirit of God at work in the other. Francis returned to the Christian world to take up again the challenge of preaching and living the Gospel. By sparing his life, al-Kamil had given Francis a renewed sense of purpose. The Lord did not fulfill his desire for martyrdom, reserving for him instead a different task. God wanted Francis and his brothers to reinvigorate every aspect of Christian society with the concrete experience of God’s loving mercy. For Francis and his brothers, Divine mercy would find its expression in tolerance and compassion, the precursors of reconciliation and unity.”
I hope it will not disturb you too much if I offer these three prayers that help me from dear saint Francis, though I like to substitute One, soul, universe, Tao, (or Winnie the pooh if I’m feeling particularly blasphemous) for father:
Heavenly Father,
help us in our uncertainty and guide us always.
Calm our unsettled hearts and give us peace.
Through the gift of your Holy Spirit,
sustain our commitment to Your holy service.
We ask this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
And
Heavenly Father,
help us to make peace in our day
and to experience reconciliation in our lives.
May our anger and hurt give way
to affection and understanding for others.
We ask this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
And
Heavenly Father,
help us to recognize the dignity
with which you have endowed each of us.
Allow us to respect your image in one another
and to find ways to bring peace and
mutual acceptance to our world.
We ask this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Progress is Through the Resistance

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My entrance into Mt Athos was met with much resistance from the people I met along the way, but at the same time it’s been a strangely smooth passage through all of the resistance. The same people presenting the resistance have been the one’s guiding me through. It’s a very clear presentation of the two sides that exist within myself. On the one hand I can see such resistance in letting go of the old patterns, but it is through this resistance that I am finding the path. Great realisations come from making “mistakes”, “giving in” to desire, ultimately “letting go” is a two sided thing, not just letting go of the conditioned self but also of the desire to be free of the conditions. It’s all about acceptance. Seeking enlightenment is also a form of attachment, letting go completely is realising that we are already enlightened, everything really is perfect the way it is. Heaven is already here and now.

Progress is Through the Resistance

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The Path to God is Through the Heart

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Jesus was a simple man, he was not rich with money and belongings, he did not have a religion, he lived from the heart. It was through love that he was able to find a passage to God. The story of Adam and Eve is a story of our inner divine masculine and divine feminine. The decision to eat the apple to learn the knowledge of good and evil is a story of right now. This story represents our decision to react to our desires and aversions. The decision to perceive an experience as either good or bad. The Christians call this “Sin”, Buddhist call it “Sankaras”. No matter what you wish to call it, look inside and see how your mind reacts to your experiences. It casts judgement upon your experiences as either good or bad, this is where the dualistic view of reality comes from. By coming to the heart you no longer cast judgement upon an experience. You can say that everything happens for a reason, or God has a plan, either way, by letting go of the need to control your life, to let what happens happen, we follow a path that will lead us out of our mind, away from judgement, removing Sankaras, away from Sin, out of Hell, away from this patriotic, male dominated creation of the mind, breaking the wheels of Samsara and into Heaven, Avalon, the present moment, the heart, God’s abode, Nirvana, the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve can once again come together and live in perfect harmony.
The Path to God is Through the Heart

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Prayer

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I recognise the Earth, Pachamama,
And who I am.

I recognise the stars, the divine,
And who I am.

I bring it to my heart.

I recognise the elements,
As a part of my Self.
The land, the air, the water, the fire.

I recognise my Self as the creator,
And part of the creation.

As I let go of my stories,
A new myth arrises.

As I let go of space and time,
I find myself here and now.

I am.

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Here and Now: A Hidden Language

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Where else should we be other than right here, right now.

Hidden Language 01

There exists underneath the mundaine conversation a hidden lanuage of the heart. This language is not spoken, it speaks to us. We feel it. This language speaks energetic “song lines”. Pathways into our inner being as well as pathways into our outer being, our outer world. The outer and inner are mirror images of each other.

Every person we meet are ourselves coming into contact with an aspect of our inner creation. When we can come away from the language, that separates us, and into the hidden language of the heart, that unites, we connect fully with this aspect and we set up an exchange. Every exchange is equal. You can gauge how much they received from you by acknowledging how much you received from them.

Hidden Language 02

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Christ Is In Our Hearts

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Christ Is In Our Hearts

Jesus taught us how to walk a path from our minds, through our fears and attachments, into our heart. The sacrafice is of our stories. Just let go. Jesus is in our hearts. We are Christ. Surrender the story and we will be resurrected into a new. The new world is ready and waiting. Just let go of the old. Just let go of the story.

Christ was always here right now.
Just let go!

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The Dreamtime

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Step by step, as time unwinds, we reconnect with the creator within. This is the dreamtime, we are the dreamers. This is our place amongst the stars. This is heaven and we’re bringing it to Earth. Creativity flowing, let your colours shine like a rainbow, bridge the worlds within, freeing yourself from the restrictions of time, to unleash infinite potential. Free yourself from the stories of others, the timeless space of creation is right before your eyes, all you have to do is wake up within your dream and begin a story of your own.

Dreamtime

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Rainbow Bridge

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Rainbow Bridge 01

Shining from the heart, take those steps forward with courage. Gently guiding humanity into the new world.

I am the bridge,
I am the path,
I am the light,
I am you.

Rainbow Bridge 02

Let the way of the heart,
Let the way of the heart,
Let the way of the heart shine through.

Love upon love upon love,
All hearts are beating as one.
Light upon light upon light,
Shining as bright as the Sun.

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Create Your Dream

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Create Your Dream

We cho(o)se this life to learn certain lessons, to experience. This decision was made before you were born, after you die and more importantly RIGHT NOW. This IS the dreamtime. The creation is happening in this present moment. Always has been and always will. Before conception, after destruction and everywhere in between.

DREAM YOUR CREATION
CREATE YOUR DREAM

We create this dream together.

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Individuality Within Unity

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As we remember our interconnectedness and unity we musn’t forget that we are also individuals. Zero and infinity exist together.

Individuality Within Unity

Each individual perspective contributes to the collective. Without one we are not whole. Likewise, we are not a complete being without our individuality. Our individuality expresses the unity. Together we are whole.

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